My Climb, My Bubble: This is How I Feel Today.

Today marks 1 week until the big moving day.  I love the idea of moving.  Moving for me, has always been a time to go through everything and decide if it’s still needed.  A time to donate, recycle, throw away.  I love that feeling.

Moving from one country to another though, even the second time around – doesn’t have the same sense of excitement.

Don’t get me wrong – this move for us is very exciting.  We’ve been working towards this move for almost 3 years now and I really feel in my heart that it’s the right step for us.  But because we are leaving behind half of our family, our home, our cats, for Ricardo – his job… We both feel like there is a little black cloud hanging above the “bubble” that we find ourselves in.

I’ve always referred to living in Mexico as living in a bubble.  For the last 2 years I have worked part time for my sister’s company which I am beyond grateful for.  I have made my own working hours, my own days off and worked as little or as much as I have wanted to.  I have little responsibilities in Mexico and have really embraced the slow paced lifestyle.  Mexico to me, has been simply incredible.  The bubble that I have been living in is about to pop.  I’ve been dreading it, I’ve been scared of it, and I’ve been trying to ignore the fact that it’s just a week away.  “Life” starts again in 1 week.  I will go back to working full time, paying rent, bills, car insurance, gas and all the other expenses that come up.  I wish the bubble could last forever…

As I was working last week a song came on that couldn’t have summed up the last 2 years better for me.  Where I was back then, and where I feel I am today.  The lyrics of this song are so powerful.

Living in Mexico hasn’t been all roses.  I have had several moments where I felt discouraged that Ricardo wasn’t able to travel back with me to Canada.  During our immigration process I felt at many times my faith was being tested, and although I was determined, the thought of giving up wasn’t very far from my mind.

This song says “Ain’t about how fast I get there, ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side – it’s the climb”  and “I may not know it, but these are the moments I’m gonna remember most, just gotta keep going…”  This is so true and it didn’t take long for me to realize that the immigration time lines or the start of our Canadian adventures didn’t matter – it was everything in between that was important.
I think the very hardest part of moving back to Canada is the fact that I already know that in 6 months, 1 year, 10 years – I will look back on life in Mexico and think “That was the best time of my life!”  Mexico is where, for the first time I saw my dad’s “other side” – the side that is genuinely happy.  (He loves Mexico just as much as I do and has lived/visited here for more than 8 months since I’ve been here.)  It has been really special getting to know this side of him and I’m so thankful for the times that we had here.  On the beaches of Puerto Vallarta I watched my Mom and Ricardo face their fears and go parasailing, a proud moment for me.  From the Mayan Palace to Hotel Sheraton I had the opportunity to introduce Ricardo to my family and show them a bit of the Mexican Culture.  Most importantly here is where I met the three most precious girls in my life, who I am so unbelievably proud of and who I will miss more than I can even put into words. Mis chicas, TKM!

It’s hard to close that door, it’s hard to walk away from the best time of my life.  But, it needs to be done – so I’m putting one foot in front of the other and trying my best to move forward.

I don’t know what Canada has in store for us but what I do know is that Mexico and the experiences that I have had here, will always hold a very special place in my heart.

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One thought on “My Climb, My Bubble: This is How I Feel Today.

  1. That really is a great song that is capable of reminding us all that the moments that seem toughest are what shape us. God wouldn’t bring us anything we couldn’t handle, if he brings us to it, he’ll bring us through it. It’s always hard to say goodbye, and to feel absolutely comfortable with life altering decisions that we have to make. Doesn’t mean that at this moment it’s not the right desicion. There’s always the option of visiting Mexico and seeing everything and everyone you love. Also as you well know, nothing is permanent, you might be here for awhile, and decide to move back. That’s one of the greatest things in life, nothing is for certain. I bet if you look back where you were 5 years ago you would’ve never thought you’d be where you are now, and I think that’s awesome!! 🙂 This is just your next adventure, and you’ve managed to find an amazingly awesome man to share it with. So very happy for you both 🙂

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